Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What has helped your get through?

Many things helped me.

My youngest child is 10, and I wanted to get up every morning and do the right things for her.

My child's friend was around a lot. She stood by my daughter, and helped distract her. Having the two of them around, playing, helped to keep me balanced.

My eldest daughter lives with her dad, but we still have our connection of love. She came to my place after her brother died, and her support and understanding were of great value. We shared a similar feeling about the events and their meaning.

Soon after Daniel's death, I wrote a book called Choose to Live! It is more of a self-empowerment book than a suicide prevention book, but writing, publishing and promoting it were all activities which were like a lifeline to me, keeping me going.

My friends and family supported me when I needed it, and left me in peace when I needed that too.

And there was the kindness of strangers... I had moved to this small town only months before Daniel died. After he died I was in no shape for socializing and meeting new people, but the people in this town are friendly and open, and it meant a lot to me just to get a smile and a hello as I walked down the street, or to talk about little unimportant things with my neighbours. These little things kept me connected to the rest of the world.

Last but not least is the sea. Shortly before Daniel died, I moved from an inland town to the coast, and the beauty of the sea often felt like it was the only thing worth staying alive for. I spent hours on the beach every day. It soothed me, it drew out of me the pain and jangled feelings. I had dreams in which I was being called back to the other side, but the thing which made me choose to stay was the beauty of the sea.

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