Thursday, July 17, 2008

Time to see a counselor...

It's been 18 months since Daniel died, and I haven't wanted to see a counselor until now.

I'm supposed to be applying for jobs and I do ok with the part time ones, but find myself really dreading the idea of a full time job. I talked to my local employment service and they sent me off for an assessment. The person who assessed me was sympathetic and caring. I felt bad telling her about myself, but she said I was doing well, she could see I was clean and not dishevelled, and she said that in itself was an achievement considering... She will set up some sessions with a grief counselor for me. After the interview my legs felt like jelly and I felt very vague and scattered, probably because talking about things brought back a lot of the emotions.

I've handled things on my own to this point, partly because I didn't want anyone interfering with my natural process (whatever that might turn out to be). Now I feel ready to be helped, listened to and supported in this next phase of recovery.